Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Hospice day

Went to hospice this morning. Not the same without Frans and Mary was on holiday so no painting today. Had a good chat with Gill, the chaplain and she shared a great poem called After Glow.
I'd like the memory of me
To be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an after glow
Of smiles when life is done,
I'd like to leave an echo
Whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing
Times and bright and
Summer days.
I'd like the tears of those who
Grieve, to dry before the sun,
Of happy memories that I leave
When life is done.
Helen Lowrie Marshall

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

E bay

Penny wants to do a video of Ellie to put on the blog and u tube, I was thinking more along the lines of e bay.
A relaxed slow start to the day. Had a good girlie afternoon, Edith, Beth and Jill. Toe nails painted. Also I was shocked to see I had a very long and very grey eye brow lash. Jill expertly removed it and we all agreed it was a very blonde one instead.
Watched Invictuus, moving film.

Monday, 29 August 2011


I have found a great little app for my iPad. I had decided that when I retired after completing thirty years service I would treat myself to a year of travelling. There were so many places I wanted to visit and experience. Obviously best laid plans and all I never realised that dream. However, I pester people for postcards and photo's of their holidays to have a vicarious visit instead. Joyce keeps a travelogue which allows me to go there in my mind. I have also found an app called TRVL and it is free! It has stunning photographs. So far I have been to South Africa and India with them.
Beth is coming to sit this afternoon. We are going to look at an application form. I am more than happy help in any way I can as it makes me feel good to have achieved something in a day.
I am much more refreshed today.

Sunday, 28 August 2011


Weekend nurse, Meryl is always a treat, she is efficient, gentle and kind. She can come anytime as she thought I was in my mid thirties, did loads for me self esteem. I slept the rest of the morning, just felt very tired. Hopefully back on good form tomorrow. X

Saturday, 27 August 2011

iTunes and Liveprofile

Penny now registered and set up with iTunes and music sync with her iPod, a good mornings work. I think her cd/dvd player on her laptop is on its way out though. This afternoon I will be mainly, napping, blogging and maybe a bit on the book.
I am trying to encourage my mum to sign up for liveprofile on her laptop so we can chat.
Following the live commentary for the game, Ipswich v Leeds.
Edith on duty, doing hot water bottles for me and playing catch the carrot with Ellie.
Bob reminded me yesterday that we are 4 months away from Christmas. I am pleased I have taken the pressure off myself this year by not getting presents. I might buy a goat or something instead from World Share.
What has been a real treat is the new contacts I have had from people. Thank you so much, great to hear how people are getting on.

Friday, 26 August 2011

Is it BH weekend? must be it's raining.

Good news the blue tits are back on the feeders. Now miss Ellie is in disgrace. She makes an almighty racket when a pigeon dares to call at the bird bath but by all accounts a mouse can just wander about outside and is of no interest to Ellie, she is so sacked as a cat. I didn't tell you, the other night Ellie was playing with a paper bag, that has string handles, she managed to get her one front paw and head stuck in the handle and was charging about like a demented thing with a bright yellow Selfridge bag in tow. Sue managed to catch Ellie and free her.
Bob came and cleaned the carpets for me, thank you so much. Mum and dad came. Dad managed to repair Ellie's radio controlled mouse, much to her delight, clearly a pretend one is acceptable to chase but not the real thing.
Sue R has a cold and unable to come up for the weekend which is a real shame. We have rebooked for September.
Have a good bank holiday weekend.

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Count your Blessings

Another phrase from my Nan's collection.
Blessings for today...Penny and I were giving Ellie some fuss and she was purring very loudly. Penny says,"she feels like a vibrator". I am not entirely sure that is what she really meant. Thank you for the lighter side of life.
Josie's sister may be able to help me with a project and I am in need of some professional guidance. Thank you for people's willingness to help others.
Mark came and said I bring out the best in people, but in reality the goodness is already there and the person is just willing to share. Thank you for true friends.
Busy day tomorrow, DN's come in, Bob has kindly agreed to come and clean the carpets for me. I ask for no shoes on my bedroom carpet because of infection and so need to keep it clean. The stairs need a spruce up as well this time round, best have coffee on tap for Bob as that will be some hard graft.
Then Mum and Dad are coming and they both have jobs as well. Need to put some carpet down in Ellie's hutch ready for the winter so she is kept nice a warm. And then my friend, Sue, of 40 years is coming for the weekend.

Wednesday, 24 August 2011


I am completely relaxed and feel like I have been on a holiday. To be fair the weather has helped and I have had lots of good summer house time. Sue has looked after Ellie and me fantastically. Yesterday and today I have got Sue's laptop back to optimum speed by a bit of house work and done a set of back up disks. I feel great that for once I could do something for Sue. I now have the permanent position of laptop maintenance. I am a fully fledge geek.
I have a film to watch that my mum had recorded for me off the tv about a couple of snipers in the second world war.

Monday, 22 August 2011


Woke up to a beautiful sunny day I was determined not to miss a minute of it. Steve and Julie popped in this morning having made a special trip to the shops to fetch me some vanilla ice cream, thank you. I wanted to go to Hanbury Church for the glorious views. I love it up there. So we packed a picnic and invited Edith along. I am pretty sure that was a first for all three of us, a picnic in a graveyard.
I had thought Mark was away for two weeks so missed his visit, very sorry.
I have to share this link with you

Excellent day Good night and God Bless
I have just had a pang of know when in the heat of the moment you hit that send key...well Sue and I (before she claims innocents) sent the letter and that photo to People's Friend.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Club 99

Not only knickers but a dress as well as going out to the summer house this afternoon. DN been and Peter so clean body and soul. We are using the new words for communion.

Steve was given an ice pop and we could not understand how he was getting into such a mess with it, but he failed to realise that Sue had already cut one end for him and so he bit off the other end.
Classic Steve made me laugh.

author unknown
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious
lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily
while he worked.  This fascinated the King; why was he, the
Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly
servant had so much joy.
The King asked the servant, 'Why are you so happy?'
The man replied, 'Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but
my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads
and warm food to fill our  tummies.'
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he
sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the
King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, 'Your
Majesty, I believe that the servant Has not been made part of
The 99 Club.'
'The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?' the King inquired.
The advisor replied, 'Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99
Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he
opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold
He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last
convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, 'What could've
happened to that last gold coin?  Surely, no one would leave 99
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive.
Finally, exhausted he decided that he was going to have to work
harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked,
horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him
make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled.
When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty,
the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.'
He continued, 'The 99 Club is a name given to those people who
have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're
always yearning and Striving for that extra 1, saying to themselves:
'Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.'
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute
we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We
lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all
these as a price for our growing needs and desires.
That's the "Club 99".

Saturday, 20 August 2011

Tone deaf

I have discovered a new talent. Before MND I was tone deaf and if I started to sing I was soon told to shut up, but now, I can sing along at the top of my voice, sounding absolute pitch perfect and no one minds at all. In part due to the fact that no sound actually comes out out but in my mind I am now Annie Lennox, with the singing voice and hair cut.
Sue and I are very naughty when we are together, we do egg each other on. I am going to write a letter into people's friend to try and win a tea caddy and a packet of tea as letter of the week. The suggested subject is to be Edith and what a good egg she is, and of course I have that picture of her with the wool.
Sue doing a pucker job on cleaning the lounge for me.
Jan came round with a DVD of Mount Kilimanjaro trek undertaken by a friend to raise money for MND. Well done Chris you are a star.
Beth came sporting a very lovely new hair cut.

Friday, 19 August 2011

Ellie, No!

An early morning call from Ellie and then poor Sue was trying to enjoy that first cup of tea in the morning, early grey as it is known here, when Ellie went into full on play mode, claws and teeth. She is now outside basking in the sunshine. Seeing mum and dad today, we are having lunch together. Mum had made pureed apple from her own trees and recorded a film for me. What a glorious summers day really enjoyed myself.
In August 2008 Sue and I completed the race for life. I did it for my friend Sally who was taken quickly by cancer. At one point I was in sixth position, admittedly that was at the start line. I wasn't last, penultimate position. What I didn't know was one month later when diagnosed I was in my own race for life. In fairness I have done very well, next month will be three years from diagnosis and I have packed an awful lot in during those three years and I still have a book to write. Good night xx

Thursday, 18 August 2011

steak and kidney pie

I would love to have a steak and kidney pie. I used to deny myself as it was unhealthy, I now wish I had blown caution to the wind. In all honestly I have no regrets, writing my book has proved to me I have had a blast. I have been on a couple of blogs who refer to themselves as optimists with MND. I would quite like to join in with them as an optimist. I probably won't win the war with MND but have definitely won some of the battles along the way. For someone who doesn't say a word I don't arf talk a lot! There's no shutting me up, my Apple gadgets are brilliant,for all my entertainment and socialising but I do need the use of my hands. Before each turn I have said, I will never cope if...e.g. I couldn't drink a cup of tea in the morning, I couldn't speak etc. But in reality you do adapt but I am not so sure about if I lost the ability to to move my hands. I pray that breathing goes first. I painted a little today and I went out to the summer house for some fresh air and vitamin D seeing as we had a bit of sunshine. Ellie has been fine today.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Scottish holiday

I'm on holiday, a stay cation with my mate and the sun is trying to shine.
Ellie is licking the new carer back into shape, i.e. Once you are awake I need taking out to my run otherwise I will attack. At 12 I always have my ham so hurry up with putting that washing out on the line. She is one vocal cat. She can also be very loving and gorgeous though.
Went to the dentist (with knickers) for a check up with the very gentle and kind Dr Val. I have clean and healthy teeth. Always good to have a positive every day. The negative has to be poor Ellie being sick when she came in this evening, hopefully she feels better after that.
Early night for me I think xx

Tuesday, 16 August 2011


What a start to the day, feed delivery, special delivery, dentist rang, district nurse came,window cleaners and all before 10:30. At least I'm all done and ready for a visit by Fe and her two daughters, Grace and Molly, at 11. Meds arrived. Oh what a visit that was. It was like we had never been apart, so much to catch up on. I laughed that much I needed oxygen. Fe bought me some lovely flowers and great memories. I'm so pleased she came and will call again. I am always conscious that I might be scary to youngsters but Fe had prepared them well and they were completely unphased. They went with Penny to see Ellie in her rabbit hutch. I learnt a new word today,'pippy',meaning the passing of wind and it wasn't me.
Saw Steve and Edith came this afternoon. The mower went, very pleased. Was quite exciting watching the flurry of biding.

Monday, 15 August 2011


Funny, when I was at work, or at a service station or supermarket, if there was someone in the next cubicle in the toilets I couldn't go no matter how hard I concentrated. I don't think I was alone in that and would go some way to explain why the Ladies always have queues. I had a terrible time relaxing enough to use a bed pan in hospital, but now, there is no inhibition at all, very strange how the mind adapts to the circumstances. I might be sharing too much of my world but does lead me onto how hang ups I had before don't seem to worry me any more. I have not lost all inhibition! Just some of the more quirky ones we have.
Had a slow start to the day and was just washed and dressed in time for Pat to do her stretching. Wendy then came and we had a good old natter as per usual. She really is a very good egg.
Edith popped in in the afternoon. She talked about youngsters and respect for their elders. I wonder now what my nan thought of my level of respect for her. Edith sounds a lot like my nan, especially their sayings, e.g. 'look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves'. My nan had a saying for every eventuality, my favourite being, 'stone the crows, well I never' used at times of particular outstanding gossip.
Tomorrow night my mate Sue comes to stay. Wednesday I have a dental appointment for a check up. I am glad my mouth is back to normal.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

I know it's Sunday, I'm wearing knickers

Using a bed pan or a commode for that matter requires as little on as possible to make for a smooth operation, but Sundays are different, one needs to be properly dressed. Tim came this morning. It never feels like a DN visit but more like two mates chatting about the weekends sport with a largely ignored little matter that has to be dealt with. Tim is Welsh so he was quite pleased with yesterday's rugby result as is my mate Sue, so no doubt I will hear more.
Penny is busy mopping floors and vacuuming this morning. And now gone for a lie down for an hour, lol.
Sue is coming Wednesday to look after me for the week while Penny takes a weeks leave. Penny is back for a week then Dee is covering for a week.
On a more serious note, I was told that the real tragedy is getting the disease in the first place. Very profound and something I have reflected on. I could say more about this, probably to Wendy tomorrow.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Ipswich v hull 3pm

Just trying to work out how to pin, prone to mischief badge onto Ellie, seeing as she is more deserving of that badge of honour. Half time 0-0 COYB. Penny and I watched Father of the Bride 2 which we enjoyed a great deal. Jo here for a game of upword, just taking Ellie out for some fresh air in her rabbit run. Ipswich lost, England lost against Wales in rugby, England won the cricket and I did quite well with Boltons four nil win for my fantasy football. I won upword for the first time against Jo, she helped me a lot though. Belinda had a safe day at work. So a good Saturday, so pleased that football focus is back on the tv. Lesley and Richard came and tidied up the lawn for me, thank you.

Friday, 12 August 2011


I had my hair cut and lost all energy by the afternoon. Not because like Samson I had had my hair cut so lost strength but because one little Ellie cat wanted to play at three am...right through to eight am. Free cat thats wired to the moon anyone? mum and dad came this afternoon and entertained me. Shared a tip top with my mum. Very refreshing for the mouth. The tickets have come through for the pensioners garden party. I will enjoy that. Best get some rest as have an afternoon game of upword tomorrow. X

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Prone to mischief

Josie came this morning with daughter Amy, which was lovely. Josie had seen a badge and bought it as it made her think of me, 'prone to mischief'. I can quite legitamently say, I never said a word. Penny and I watched a DVD together this morning, called piano. A strange film to begin with but ended with a great story line. Never seen anything quite like it before and certainly captured the mind. I enjoyed this morning. This afternoon was really good too. Belinda came to babysit. My peg bled so had to change tops. I saw her photos from her holiday in Germany. We discussed work, I still miss the job even during these trying times. My Stephen Turner poetry book arrived in the post today, made me smile. Lesley popped in on her way home from work. She told some funny stories about Jaffa cakes and sunflowers. Both Belinda and Lesley are very good company so an enjoyable day, right up to the point of wind. I am very sorry Lesley for sharing that. X

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

I'm getting old, no really I am

Something happened when I turned 45 in June. Since then I have turned from the Mail to the Times as the former I found too anti and it was winding me up. Sue took me to town today specifically to look in WHSmith. We each found great magazines for our respective gadgets and decided to have them. Ten pound each! Honestly I know I haven't been out much and the cost of living has risen but a magazine for a tenner. I am so going to read every word of it. (see I have become old). It gets worse, there was a bloke bent over making a repair and was showing his hairy backside complete with boil, and there I was shaking my head tutting disapprovingly. Actually being in a wheel chair does have either the advantage or disadvantage of being eye level to a blokes midriff. Also a real disadvantage is if someone sneezes in close proximity I get the full force of it in my face because people sneeze downwards, lovely, thank goodness for wet wipes. I bought some dairy lea cheese triangles for no other reason than they were on offer and therefore a bargain. Sue bought packets upon packets of biscuits because they were half price. But the clincher has to be, i bought a people's friend for Penny and i found myself getting engrossed in the content? What, what is happening? I can't imagine what I would have been like if I had reached seventy or eighty years. Still, we got home to a have nice cup of tea. I met a friend today outside my house, great to see her although became uncomfortable after asking how was I. I really don't mind that question and I have good and bad days the same as everyone else, so please ask. night xxx

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Fantasy football

Not sure what to make of the events of the last few days. I feel so much for the those that have lost their homes and business.
Great concentration required today as I chose my fantasy football team. Have to support Connor Wickham as an ex blues player, hope he does well in the premiership. Do you know who is at the top of the championship tabl
Yesterday my neighbour was the DJ on radio Wyvern, so I tuned in. It was a very good show.
I managed a couple of hours out in my summer house today, bliss, especially when I nodded off in the warm sunshine.

Monday, 8 August 2011

A moment in time

Chris and Joyce came this morning and we had a great natter. Chris is a real keen cyclist and completed a one hundred and thirty mile ride in the mountains of France in atrocious weather. Like good NARPO we discussed the turmoil some senior police officers are in at the moment. Joyce has a iPad lesson today at the apple shop and she will share handy tit bits. I love my iPad. I have been watching the sixty minute makeover, oh dear into day time tv. I did all my own decorating before and enjoyed the satisfaction of achieving a new look. Alison popped by and I am hoping she can find the photographs from two years ago of our day in Oxford. It was a brilliant day seeing all the colleges and the botanical gardens. I just can't believe I never got round to going before. I would recommend it as very disabled friendly place despite the old architecture. Time for a nap xx

Sunday, 7 August 2011


Oh boy I have laughed. Trevor and Carole came to see me and made me laugh, particularly Trevor and his strawberry phone (blackberry to you and I). Trevor was my Inspector when I was a constable trainer at Droitwich training school. We would go for lunchtime runs or in the gym, great fun. Trevor brought a great team spirit, pride in our appearance and humour to the job. I would go the extra mile for him, a real leader. Carole was greeted in the usual unsociable way by Ellie with a bite to the hand. Ellie has such a cute face that lures the hand in to give some fuss and bang she has the hand. How do you train a cat to not do that?
The ride on lawn mower is on eBay and will hopefully sell for them.
Adrian came, good to catch up with him. He is always very complimentary on my policing skills and is a good tonic. I also played a game of upword with Jo yesterday, really good word game.
I think we are on to something with puree food. Smoked salmon and cottage cheese blended and sieved makes a delicious dip and semolina and nutella or semolina and peanut butter are great combinations. And Jo made both butterscotch and chocolate double cream dream.
Penny and I had a lay in Saturday morning, but had to call by 9:15 as I needed a wee.

Friday, 5 August 2011


Farewell My Friends

It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
Save the pain I'll leave behind:
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.

At every turning of my life I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.

Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.

No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.

If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like.
When you live in the hearts of those you love
Then you never die.

And today in The Daily Mail was a lovely story of a meadow field that had been planted, a little piece of Heaven in Somerset.
Not sure if the link will work but well worth a look at.

Mum and dad coming this afternoon and we have some wheeling and dealing to do on Ebay as they have a sit on lawn mower for sale.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Three amigos

Enjoyed hospice yesterday. I remembered to take in Margarets donation and the pat straws for, Pat. I don't use them any more and they will now go to good use. Sue was with me so she met the three amigos, Nigel, Pat and me. The famous five included Pauline and James. I am not normally able to have much of a conversation with Pat and Nigel as it is too noisy for my iPod and speaker but with Sue there she was able to speak for me. With it being such a lovely day we took advantage and got some vitamin D by sitting outside. I was shattered yesterday. Sue stayed up to do the night time wee only I wasn't for stirring, but thanks anyway.
Today has been relaxed. Josie came this morning and showed me her new flower arranging skills with a beautiful bouquet. It is all to do with spiraling apparently. Jill came this afternoon looking all golden brown after her holiday in Spain and brought me two lovely pots back.
It's James's funeral tomorrow so I will join in at home in celebrating his life, rest in peace.

Wednesday, 3 August 2011


Whatever I had in the mouth it is on it's way out now. I did have a niggle that the numb tongue was perhaps progression but my mind has been put at rest. Too tired to do a blog today. Will be firing on all cylinders tomorrow.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Juliet bravo

Who remembers that series? I remember it being on the television and was about a woman inspector in charge of a rural station, quite an unusual event back then. It ran from 1980 -1985. I heard a song on the radio that reminded of the signature tune, amazing what is stored in the memory.
Ellie has a new friend. A black and White cat with three legs, rear right leg missing. An unusual looking cat with white whiskers and eye brows, but very friendly. The other Ellie came today, the chiropodist.
The senior district nurse came this morning and has sorted me out. Hopefully I will have the medication today and my mouth starts to feel better. It's not thrush and doctor felt it was a vitamin or iron deficiency. Nope after texting the nurses, apparently there was a mix up on the prescription and the hospice doctor will prescribe tomorrow. Happy days.

Monday, 1 August 2011

Lost for words

I had written a post today which was a complete rant about lost prescriptions and telephone calls I am not able to have. But I reviewed it and have decided in the grand scheme of things it is of little importance. I still have a sore mouth and I think the DN's are going to look at it tomorrow. I have had to put off visitors as concerned now Penny has a sore throat that maybe she caught it from me. Also I intend to rest up to knock this on the head once and for all.