Bag ba cum cum

That is the noise a pigeon makes in Hindi. You have to say it fast and it does sound like pidgeons. Ellie screeches at the pigeons who nonchantly wander about the garden picking up any stray bird feed. Josie came today with a stone from the giants causeway, a little one! And a visitor guide book to titanic Belfast. I'll enjoy reading that. Wendy bought her gun dog spaniel to see me on Monday, she, Skye is gorgeous and so well behaved for a five month old. Yesterday we had a power cut, just as penny and I settled down to a DVD. The air matress needs electricity so I ended up being encased in a deflated air bed for half an hour. Big thunder storm this morning. Ellie cat was fine, quite fascinated by it all. I did make it into town yesterday but no sooner we had arrived I needed to go home again to use the toilet. I'm pleased to report a good job and pleased the new tablets appear to be doing their job, long may it continue. Thank you mr Hudson.

Bad tempered Ellie

For the few days I have had a ginger long haired Tom in the garden sleeping on Ellie's hutch. He looks uncared for and so after sue and I read a street cat called bob, he has been named bob. We have put food and water out for him and quite happy to adopt him as an out door cat. He won't come near humans in any case. Now miss Ellie was having her morning treat of actimel and yoghurt and got so moody at the sight of bob being given some dry old biscuits. It's not big and it's not clever Ellie, be a bit more charitable. Had syringe driver changed today and resisted, always makes my toes curl. Sue has had a leisurely croissant and paper breakfast in the shed, bless her. Penny has had her assessor here today for her nvq level 3. I think she did ok. I'm going to try and go down town for a coffee this afternoon, I need to stretch my legs.

Home, birthday and bottoms

Right, as many of you know I'm home from hospice. What an exceptional place that is. To go in for symptom control and receive the very best in care from all the staff is fantastic. I was very comfortable there there but was also very keen to get back home. I came home Monday. I saw dr Becky at hospice on Wednesday and I was at the hospital as a day case for a look up my bum and belly decompression today. Oh and yesterday it was my birthday. I had a lovely day having a picnic in my shed with Sue and Lesley. Josie came in the morning and Steve and julie popped over in the late afternoon. I had lovely cards, FB messages and presents. A card and luxury body cream from the nurses at st Richards, and a card indicating I am in fact the queen of thrones. Lesley got me a couple of jigsaws, sue and electric toothbrush, mum a nightie, edith, smellies, a tee shirt, I tunes cards, flowers and an orchid. I did very well and feel appropriately spoilt. So quite a full on week. The good news is that my belly is feeling loads better. Im going to have to stop seeing dr Hudson as he is going to think im stalking him otherwise, after two pegs and a trip to the dark side of the moon. Not to mention a very recent out patient appointment with him.

Week three

Ok I have milked this for all it is worth. I am feeling loads better with a lot less grumbling in my tummy and I am now breaking wind. I had my first night of pump feed last night and so far so good and all is well. Just need to do one final thing to complete the circuit. I went to day hospice yesterday and sat outside in the sunshine for a bit of fresh air. I have a bath today and so long as the weather stays dry I will be doing a lap of the gardens. Dr been in and great news, I'm going home on Monday, just to make sure feed and meds are all doing ok and I won't be left over the weekend with minimal cover. I'm very pleased. In fact I can't express here my gratitude to all the drs, staff and volunteers at st Richards. I feel better now than I did weeks before I came in here. Perseverance and dedication has been astounding. Some real out of the box thinking, including a catheter up the bum which helped to clear the trapped gas. At the end of the day my bowels are going to be sluggish but it's important to not let it take control.

Update

Colleen,may nurse from day hospice has been visiting me in IPU. She is so down to earth and a great support. Also from day hospice there is a standing machine. My theory was that if I could stand up maybe the forces of gravity could work and I would get a really good stretch. So I get strapped in and gently lifted to a half standing position( if you are a physio, especially Lesley and Kate don't read the next bit) I can't stand up fully because I have allowed the tendons at the back of my legs to shorten. I do like to lay in bed with my knees bent. Anyway it was a good effort and I have a couple of photos to prove that I'm still standing. My mum and dad was there to see this great achievement. I had great fun and hard work, it was worth it. Penny my carer is coming to visit me on Sunday, so that is something to look forward to. Ellie will come in too. Let's hope she has been to the toilet before she comes in, we had a little accident the other day. Dee sent me a joke book on farts, the little character off the EDF advert and a lovely card. Cheers Dee a great tonic. I now have my own stash of freeze pops, ice lollies and ice cream tubs in the the bistro opposite my room. Now I will have to do some collateral damage to that over the weekend.

Breaking (wind) news

It is possible that today we have got to the bottom of things. But let's go back a week. Monday I arrived at st Richards in good humour and told the nurse I was only here to have a poo. Sue got me unpacked and into bed. Neither of us expected any more than a three day stay which was confirmed when i was told, "you won't be with us long", now I'm not sure that is a good thing to say to patients in a hospice. I met my nurse, shelley (who has been excellent through out, in fact they all have). Tuesday I started the movicol in earnest, guaranteed to move mountains. edith searched out her 1977 union jack from the silver jubilee flag and named me the queen of thrones. Sue brought in some pictures for my pin board, zingy the EDF character came and put upside down to remind me what I need to do. But by far the funniest was the emails from Ellie the cat, one wishing me a good morning and looking far sweeter than she really is, followed by a very impressive package in the litter tray. At five am on wednesday I was rudely awaken to vesuvius erupting and I called the nurses. A very deep bed pan was filled in no time and it was congratulations all round for a good job done. Now you would think that that would be the end of the matter, blockage moved and we can all go home. No, when has anything ever been that straight forward for me. I was still in pain. We all thought that maybe there was still more to come so carried on with the movicol and introduced senna. Still in pain. The only way to really find out was to have another X-ray. Sue and Lesley took me to wrh. X-ray taken. Now the first X-ray proved I'm full of shite and the second one confirmed I'm truly full of hot air. All i needed to do now was fart, not normally a challenge to me. So total bowel rest and no feed at all for twenty four hours i am now a big drip woops typo I am attached to a big drip to keep me hydrated. Don't say anything but my mate has been smuggling in contraband in the name of freeze pops. I had a third year student nurse for two days and you wouldn't know she was a student. I was to teach her about the peg. It's very important to clip off before undoing the cap. forget but you will be covered in stomach contents in which you learn never to do it again. Or you can listen to the advice and avoid that step. She did fabulously well. Ellie has been to visiting most days. She has been so sweet allowing all the staff to fuss her, no claws no teeth. I was quite relieved but did ask her if she was an imposter and where had the real Ellie gone. She even sat curled up on Edith's lap. She has been so well behaved its untrue. She went for a walk with sue and was quite frightened by the fish pond and the big fish, she only likes the tin variety. Monday morning at precisely 07:14 am I did a very sweet little pop off. I was elated. But it was a one hit wonder. I was in agony again. I had morphine and then a bath hoping the bubbles and hot water would help. Dr Becky was my doctor and has been superb through out, she even politely laughed at my jokes. But the sense of humour had diminished by Sunday. A rethink because I flatly refused anyone from wrh to go anywhere near me, which wasn't very helpful but I have a real aversion to the place. Anyway jolly good thinking prevailed and the doctors came up with a cunning plan with a tube and bag to help release the air. It worked instantly and I was feeling loads better. I'm a bit concerned that I might blow up the airbag or float away. I've had me first feed in a while and a freeze pop. My mum and dad were here Friday and we had two visitors from the church, hospice Chaplin and father Patrick. Some holiday this has turned out to be but there is always a lighter side and despite everything still managed to raise a smile. Thank you ipu st Richards.